A typical week

I sat down today and realized that Thanksgiving is next Thursday. I then wondered where September and October and most of November went.

Below is a typical week in the life of a second year English teacher, taking 2 graduate classes, and training for a marathon (which is this Sunday!!!!).

Monday

6:00 alarm

7:30 arrive at school to plan and grade

8:45-3:15 teach

3:15-5:00 grade and read the latest Shakespeare play I'm studying in class

6:00-8:40 Studies in Shakespeare at Lehman College

9:30 home

Tuesday

6:00 alarm

7:30 arrive at school to plan and grade

8:30-1 teach

1:00-2:50 Professional Development/department/ AVID meetings

3-3:30 plan and grade

4:15-6:00 Media Literacy class at Lehman

6:30 home

7:00 run

Wednesday

6:00 alarm

7:30 arrive at school to plan and grade

8:45-3:15 teach

3:15-4:30 ish plan and grade

5:00- ? run (For much of September and October I was running 8-9 miles on Wednesdays)

Thursday

6:00 alarm

7:30 arrive at school to plan and grade

8:45-3:15 teach

3:15-4:15 Gay Straight Alliance meeting

5:00 home

5:30 run

6-? on this particular Thursday: grade midterm exams

Friday

6:00 alarm

7:30 arrive at school to plan and grade

8:45-3:15 teach

3:15-4 clean classroom, update Word Wall, etc.

5:00 open a beer

I often feel like I am one of the first teachers to arrive at school and one of the last to leave (along with a few other English teachers), yet I feel like there is ALWAYS more I could be doing to help my students. Parent outreach. Grading. Observing other teachers for best practices. Updating Homework Tracking Charts and Word Walls. Research and planning of upcoming units, papers, projects (especially for my self contained special ed. class). Reaching out to students who are falling behind or failing. Teaching students one-on-one. But, on most days, there is not even close to enough time in the day to accomplish or even attempt to accomplish everything I feel like I have to in order to best help my students learn and succeed.

I know that my current lifestyle as a teacher in an urban school is not sustainable forever because it is too exhausting. But, I also can't see myself leaving my job anytime soon, because no matter how challenging, frustrating, and difficult it is, I really like my students and teaching (on most days ;) ).

I am excited to go home for Thanksgiving.

Poetry Slam

On Saturday, my school's poetry club is participating in a poetry slam in midtown. Last year, the club's adviser and I took them to TFA's first middle and high school poetry slam at the Nuyorican Poets' Cafe. They ROCKED it. Seriously. I think we had 10 students perform and they did an incredible job. Students were dumbfounded and teachers were shocked at how talented they were. I was stunned as well!

I am excited to see how much they've improved from last year at the slam this weekend. I will bring my camera and take some pictures and try to shoot some videos as well. I am really looking forward to it!

Halfway through my worst 8th period of the year-- in which no learning and much disrespecting occurred-- a student asked, "Miss, why did you become a teacher? You could be doing something so much better with your life."

A bad day.

Loss

Yes, yes. I know. It's been ages since I posted last. Sorry! It's been a hectic and crazy last few weeks. So, update....

Last time I wrote I was on the bus heading to DC for the Regional ultimate frisbee tournament. Unfortunately, my team lost in the games to go to Nationals and I arrived back in New York at about 3 am after a crazy 8.5 hours of travel.

With about 3 hours of sleep, last Monday morning at about 7:15 am, a teacher in my department told me one of the senior students had died in her sleep on Saturday night. I could not believe it. We later learned that the student, J, had a degenerative heart condition and had a heart attack. The faculty met in the library during first period to discuss how to bear the news to students (even though most students already knew through Facebook. In fact, that is how the principal found out as well.).

J was known by all students. She was a lively young lady who had a lot of character. I met her last year because I covered a junior English class about 3 days each week after their teacher, Ms. C, died of cancer. It was a weird time for her students. For many of them, losing her was their first experience with death. She was not just their teacher though. She was their cheerleader, their advocate, their confidante, their mentor, their coach. She pushed them to excel daily and grow as individuals.

I have a vivid memory of that 5th period English class soon after Ms. C passed away. We were reading the Great Gatsby, but none of the students seemed to care (not even the best). They were distracted, grieving, and taking it out on me. So, I sat down, did not fight them, and told them we'd continue when they were ready. All class, J pushed my buttons. She refused to take the quiz. She went to the bathroom even after I gave her two options-- to take the quiz and then go, or not go at all. With about 5 minutes left in an entirely unproductive class, J took out a poem she wrote about Ms. C and began reading it to her friend, D. I listened intently as I was completely drawn in by her words. By the end of her poem, I realized tears were sliding down my cheeks. It was beautiful. I now understood why J treated me so poorly. I was not Ms. C. I could not replace her (even though I was not trying to). All she wanted was her teacher back, a woman who became more like a mother to her. I left class that day feeling somewhat helpless but closer to those students than ever before.

That same Monday morning, the administration broke the news of our guidance counselor's husband'd death to the faculty. More devastating news. He left the house to go pick up some groceries and never came home. We were told he had been murdered. I work closely with Ms. R and the Friday before was laughing with her about some of our students. I couldn't believe it. The staff couldn't believe it.

Our students couldn't believe it.

Losing J and seeing my students deal with her death sent me straight back to high school during times when I experienced the deaths of loved ones and senseless loss of peers and a friend. It was debilitating. I couldn't focus, lost motivation, found myself doing anything to be distracted from the sadness that lingered in my thoughts.

Even as I reflect on my own reaction to death in high school, I still have no idea how to help my students. I've reached out to students who I know are struggling, but I still feel helpless. I know that I can only be there for them to listen when they need.

Many of my students are now forced to grapple with death-- with the help of friends, but more profound, in their own ways. This loss will send those who knew and loved J on a painful yet necessary and enlightening journey which will force them to examine what truly matters in life, who they are and who they wish to become.

October... Already?

I am currently on the Bolt Bus heading to Washington, DC. My ultimate Frisbee team is competing in the Regional tournament this weekend in Upperville, Va. so I'll be staying with some teammates in DC.

School has been pretty hectic. My classes finally stopped shifting around though, and my rosters appear to be set for the rest of the semester, at least. My 10th graders seem to love Raisin, which makes me so happy. I just gave my first quiz, and my kids seem to know their stuff. They listen! Yes! I am glad I started off the year with the play because my students LOVE to read it out loud. Even though many of them are reluctant readers and struggle with inflexion, many of them are really trying to portray the characters' emotions as they read. It's exciting. One student in particular, Tiara, is a phenomenal Mama. Her classmates love when she reads, and I have to say I do too!

My self contained class is going to be a constant struggle for me. I am still figuring out how to modify my lessons to fit their individual needs. My school is WAY out of compliance in special ed. (hmm perhaps that is why I have never seen a SINGLE IEP for ANY of my students????). Go figure. We watched The Village (I know, not a great film) last week. I am trying to get them thinking about the major themes of The Crucible--hysteria, and also the role panic and fear play in tearing a part a community. My AP looked for modified versions of the text, but none seem to exsist. So, I ventured down to Barnes and Noble and purchased the Spark Notes for the play so we can read summaries after reading each scene. I am still determining what I want them to read and what we will just skip. I'm going to show the opening scene of the Daniel Day Lewis and Winona Ryder version, which is incredibly dramatic next week, so I am hoping that will engage them. (Winona Ryder as Abigail is unbelievable. So creepy and evil!)

My professional duty this year is to work closely with my students' guidance counselor-- calling parents, meeting with students, and other outreach type tasks. I went up to her office 4th period, but she was not there. My AP then shared some tragic and disturbing news. Apparently, last June, the counselor's husband went out to the store to grab some groceries. He never came home and had been missing all summer. Police found his body last night-- he had been murdered. I couldn't really believe what I was hearing. Only yesterday were we laughing and smiling with the two students we were meeting with. It's unbelievable.

On a more uplifting note... One of my 10th grade students from last year-- we'll call her E-- transfered to a different high school. Her mother forced her to change schools, because she thought my school "was turning her gay." (She had a girlfriend at the school.) Outrageous, I know. Her mother essentially neglected her, so I reached out to E to listen and give her my full support during a difficult time in her life. I hadn't heard from E until her girlfriend and friend stopped me in the hall last week. Both of them said E wanted to relay a message to me.... "Thank you, Ms. Brady, for your support and everything you did for me last year. I'll email soon." A few simple words. But they meant so much to me and made my day. If I can make even the smallest difference in one student's life, I will feel like my job here is meaningful.

I hope to post more soon. Until then, thanks for reading.

A week in...

It's hard to believe I've only been back teaching for 5 days. Although I feel like I am still just as exhausted every day when that last bell rings at 3:15, I am more confident and comfortable in the classroom. I don't feel so frazzled or all over the place ALL the time. I feel composed. Put together. On my game.

I have 145 students this year and so far most of them have come every day. My biggest class has 34, but it feels like I have 50 kids packed in the room. At least I have enough desks this year! (last year a student sat at my desk and another sat on a table in the back for the first week of school...). My smallest class has 7 (that's my self contained class).

I am thrilled about my second period class. It is comprised mostly of students I had last year as freshmen. They're great. They make me smile and laugh and I am so glad I get to teach them and learn from them again this year.

Some frustrations...

My school's quality review is in October, and we were told at our school wide meeting last week that we are "out of compliance" in special education. Our IEPs are poorly written and completely unhelpful and some are inaccurate. Our special education students are not performing well on state tests, if they're even taking them. I was told in late August that I'd be teaching a self contained special education English class (12-1-1). When I inquired why I would be (since I am not CERTIFIED in special education) I was told, "Well, Maura, you are VERY energetic and organized. You'll do great." Nothing about my actual performace as a TEACHER, of course. I still am unsure why I'm teaching the class, but I am going to do my best to help my kids-- most of whom are at about a 5th grade level-- pass the Regents exam.

I almost cried for my students at our meeting on Tuesday. The recession has FINALLY hit the NYC public schools, and more specifically, my school. We were told in the spring that we "might not have paper" in the fall. Currently, thank God, we DO have paper. Our afterschool activities have taken a HUGE hit. The Liberty Partnership Program has worked with Hostos Community College (which is about 5 minutes from my school) to provide activities such as dance, photography, swimming, art, etc. to our students. Because of the economy, they were forced to cut funding. They decided to remove the program from ONE borough. Guess which one. The Bronx. Why the Bronx? Who knows. Is this proof of the inequities within the education system? Perhaps. When my principal told us this, I felt so sad for my students.

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling calm and relaxed. It was amazing not feeling nauseous or anxious about the week. It's nice to know I will never have to be a first year teacher ever again.

First day of my second year

Chris and Rebecca's wedding (amazing!!!!!) officially marked the END of summer and the beginning of my second year of teaching in an urban South Bronx High School (if you're ever driving south on the Major Deegan Expy to Manhattan, look to your left right before the Madison Avenue bridge and you will sure enough see my classroom-- third floor, windows most likely covered with chart paper and posters. Honk.). The wedding was--without a doubt--the perfect way to end my summer. Cousins, partying, a beautiful ceremony, a beautiful new family. I couldn't have asked for a better Labor Day weekend.

Surprisingly, there were no outrageous surprises at the school-wide meetings today. I am still teaching four 10th grade classes and one self contained special ed. 11th grade class. My honors class, however, no longer exists, which is both frusterating and upsetting. I know so many of my students will be let down. I am working to implement some sort of honors curriculum where the students initially selected for honors can receive honors credit. We'll see.

Three of my rosters have 34 students, one has 29 (a collaborative team teaching class, which includes 10 students who were in a self contained 9th grade English class last year), and my s.c. class has 9 (with a paraprofessional, who is supposed to serve as my TA. Last year, my para sat at a desk, messed around on her Blackberry, ate food, brought the kids food, and often cursed in front of me and my students. She also refused to help/push the only student she was in charge of working with, who was in a wheelchair. More often than not I helped her pack her belongings and exit the classroom. Hopefully I will have a better experience this year).

I just trekked back to the UES from Lehman College, where I am enrolled in two grad. classes this fall. Studies in Shakespeare (Monday from 6-9) and an education class on media literacy (Tuesdays from 4:15-6). I never have high expectations for my grad classes, although it would be nice to actually LEARN something I could utilize and implement in my classroom. I suppose this is what a "free" masters gets me.

Now, I am off for a run to calm my nerves (7 weeks in to marathon training). I feel significantly better today than I did a year ago, so I can't complain.

I am excited for a new year, new students (with some old), and a fresh start. Wish me luck.