A week in...

It's hard to believe I've only been back teaching for 5 days. Although I feel like I am still just as exhausted every day when that last bell rings at 3:15, I am more confident and comfortable in the classroom. I don't feel so frazzled or all over the place ALL the time. I feel composed. Put together. On my game.

I have 145 students this year and so far most of them have come every day. My biggest class has 34, but it feels like I have 50 kids packed in the room. At least I have enough desks this year! (last year a student sat at my desk and another sat on a table in the back for the first week of school...). My smallest class has 7 (that's my self contained class).

I am thrilled about my second period class. It is comprised mostly of students I had last year as freshmen. They're great. They make me smile and laugh and I am so glad I get to teach them and learn from them again this year.

Some frustrations...

My school's quality review is in October, and we were told at our school wide meeting last week that we are "out of compliance" in special education. Our IEPs are poorly written and completely unhelpful and some are inaccurate. Our special education students are not performing well on state tests, if they're even taking them. I was told in late August that I'd be teaching a self contained special education English class (12-1-1). When I inquired why I would be (since I am not CERTIFIED in special education) I was told, "Well, Maura, you are VERY energetic and organized. You'll do great." Nothing about my actual performace as a TEACHER, of course. I still am unsure why I'm teaching the class, but I am going to do my best to help my kids-- most of whom are at about a 5th grade level-- pass the Regents exam.

I almost cried for my students at our meeting on Tuesday. The recession has FINALLY hit the NYC public schools, and more specifically, my school. We were told in the spring that we "might not have paper" in the fall. Currently, thank God, we DO have paper. Our afterschool activities have taken a HUGE hit. The Liberty Partnership Program has worked with Hostos Community College (which is about 5 minutes from my school) to provide activities such as dance, photography, swimming, art, etc. to our students. Because of the economy, they were forced to cut funding. They decided to remove the program from ONE borough. Guess which one. The Bronx. Why the Bronx? Who knows. Is this proof of the inequities within the education system? Perhaps. When my principal told us this, I felt so sad for my students.

On Sunday morning I woke up feeling calm and relaxed. It was amazing not feeling nauseous or anxious about the week. It's nice to know I will never have to be a first year teacher ever again.